Tina Khan

WHAT DO YOU LOVE MOST ABOUT BEING YOUR AGE?
I love this sense of “conviction of self” I have at 45, fully knowing who I am and where I fit into the world.  Carrying that everywhere I go has changed the way I show up, my relationships, and certainly work. It’s evolved from the uncertain 12-year-old to a most definitive woman very comfortable in her skin. I love that feeling.

DO YOU LIKE BEING 40+?
I enjoy the mindset of my mid-40s. Conversations and relationships are richer and situations have a different depth than 20 years ago. The younger version of myself was in constant pursuit; that’s certainly changed, and I’m grateful for it! Being over 40 has enhanced my intentionality–everything has a greater purpose.  

WHEN IN YOUR LIFE, SO FAR, HAVE YOU FELT MOST CONFIDENT, AND WHY?
I think there’s personal and professional confidence. Professionally, I have always evolved and grown, but personal confidence is pinnacle when I’m on my bike. There’s no greater feeling than starting out for a 200-mile self-supported bike race on gravel roads, knowing no one will get you across that finish line but yourself. The hardest and greatest thing I’ve ever done is hop on a bike. When I think of being confident, I think “keep pedaling.” 

WHAT BRINGS YOU THE MOST JOY AT THIS AGE?
A great conversation with someone meaningful, over coffee preferably. I relish a deep meaningful conversation that leaves me thinking about things differently. Add laughter and a great book in there as well. Being outdoors and disconnecting from the urgency race in life is everything.

WHAT IS YOUR SUPERPOWER?
Optimism. Life is hard; it will always be hard – we just get better at doing the hard. To do so requires us to see one another’s stories; to care about others, their journey, their struggles, and triumphs… it takes a curious optimism. I see people through that lens.

WHAT DO YOU CONSIDER YOUR GREATEST ACHIEVEMENT?
I went to college. I was a first-generation college student before that was a thing. My parents had zero means for tuition and I fell into a scholarship by happenstance. I found a love of learning and broader thinking that I had never experienced. Learning to navigate higher ed completely on my own is my proudest achievement.    

WHAT IS YOUR GREATEST EXTRAVAGANCE?
Food. I love the adventure of experiencing new tastes, textures, and cultures through food. Day trips, vacations, and weekend getaways revolve around great food spots. I grew up knowing what a food budget was. We were a family of 4 with one income; every meal was homemade, and there was no concept of going out to eat. I definitely enjoy this indulgence in my adult life.

WHAT IS YOUR MOST TREASURED POSSESSION?
My antiques.  All of them. I have a houseful of history that I treasure like no other. Antiques hold the stories of all things before us: they teach us, and they’re irreplaceable. Modern style never suited me; it’s too easy to buy something at a store. Whereas antiques have withstood the test of time, and are still here after 100+ years.   

WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE THING YOU HAVE CHECKED OFF YOUR BUCKET LIST?
Riding my bike with friends all over the country. Heading out on a road trip, traveling with bikes loaded up, and knowing we were about to embark on adventures and do some hard pedaling is such an incredible feeling–better than a bucket list!

WHAT IS YOUR IDEA OF PERFECT HAPPINESS?
Happiness is peace within yourself. And that seems to be a constant journey of acceptance and discovery. I’ve experienced moments of complete happiness, but I know what lies ahead will be more chapters of that journey to peace. Maybe the journey to happiness is just that, a collection of the moments. 

WHAT IS A TRAIT YOU ARE MOST PROUD OF?
I have grit. This comes from a long line of Kansas women that never gave up. Determination always came naturally for me–it seems the only way is through, so that’s where I’m going.

WHAT HARDSHIPS HAVE YOU ENDURED THAT YOU FEEL HAVE MADE YOU STRONGER?
I have a pretty significant health issue that developed when I was two. I’ve managed it my entire life, and it’s certainly made me stronger, but through that, I’ve developed an interesting relationship with the word “endure.” What it means to endure is something I reflect on often.

WHAT ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE YOUR YOUNGER SELF?
Trust yourself, and everything will work out. Truly. The amount of time I spent second-guessing myself was so wasteful. 

DO YOU HAVE ANY WORDS OF WISDOM FOR YOUNGER WOMEN?
Put yourself in the driver’s seat of your life.  At all costs, no relationship, career, education, or pursuit is more important than being the steward of your own life. Trust yourself, listen to that little voice that has your best interest at heart, and take the step into your own life. 

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO OR FAVORITE QUOTE?
“Underestimate me, that’ll be fun.” I actually wrote this quote on my legs for a bike race as a reminder that I can do hard things. I love the idea behind this quote; it’s not only determination but also how often we discredit what we see and make assumptions.

WHAT DO YOU MOST VALUE IN YOUR FRIENDS?
Their endless ease and belly-aching laughter! The silliness and joy I have with them is irreplaceable. We’re fiercely in one another’s corner, cheerleading, holding each other through the hard, and laughing the entire time. They are little pieces in my heart.

HOW DID YOU CHANGE OVER THE YEARS?
Too numerous to list and that’s been the wonder of this journey to 45. I think differently about situations and people. I stop to check my assumptions and sit with my discomfort, which is still a learning curve. I’m learning to hold conflicting truths and be curious. I love finding joy in things I previously ran right past. I’ve slowed down, that’s been the most significant change–and the most beneficial.  

IF YOU COULD CHANGE ONE THING ABOUT YOURSELF, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
Not a single darn thing. Full stop. I’ve overcome a lot to be in this body at this stage, and I wouldn’t change a thing. What a ride it’s been!

WHAT DO YOU HOPE FOR THE FUTURE GENERATIONS?
We’ve got to care for one another, in whatever capacity that means, in all sectors. We have to find the basic tenets of community that seem to be missing right now. Consideration; what others are experiencing and feeling, we have to find the comfort to sit together and care about what it means for us to be in this life. Community.

IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE YOU WOULD LIKE TO ADD?
I wasn’t able to have children, which seemingly placed youth at the center of my work while also holding a very special place in my heart. My invite is for those of us in the 40+ crowd to give pause and really see youth. To remove our lens of aged bias and listen with a smile. We have resources and means to create spaces for youth to thrive, so let’s do that. I taught for 14 years, and the most important motto I had was to smile at every student; it might be the only one they see all day. I’m hopeful my 40+ crowd of incredible women will continue paving the way for youth. If not for the next generation, then what?