Veronica Headings

WHAT DO YOU LOVE MOST ABOUT BEING YOUR AGE?
The experience and the wisdom, and you can’t sweat the small stuff. You have to let go of the things you can’t control; they will fall this way or that way, and sometimes it will not be your way. A lot of times, it’s not going to be your way, and that’s OK.

WHAT HARDSHIPS HAVE YOU ENDURED THAT YOU FEEL HAVE MADE YOU STRONGER?
I was raised by a single mother. She taught me good morals, a good work ethic, and values. Not having a father figure, she was it.
My daughter has a rare chromosome disorder; I didn’t know she was going to be born with special needs. But I feel like if she can endure it, I can endure it. And then her cancer on top of that at age 5, there were lots of mountains. It’s more about the hardships she’s dealing with than mine; I have my personal, and then there are hers. I would want to put myself in her place so that she wouldn’t have to suffer.

WHAT DO YOU CONSIDER YOUR GREATEST ACHIEVEMENT?
My kids, raising Isabella, she has her special needs or her extra needs, but she still says hi, and she’s social, whether they say hi back or acknowledge her. My son is a responsible, yes ma’am, no ma’am, and respectful human being who will be an excellent asset to society. He’s just a good human being.

WHAT IS YOUR GREATEST EXTRAVAGANCE?
My greatest extravagance is fashion; I would love to own a clothing store.

WHAT IS YOUR MOST TREASURED POSSESSION?
My kids, they are part of me.

WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE THING YOU HAVE CHECKED OFF YOUR BUCKET LIST?
Skydiving: I did it here at the ACDC drop zone in Roseville; my friend owns it. I did tandem; I would never do it alone. It was exhilarating.

WHAT IS YOUR IDEA OF PERFECT HAPPINESS?
To not have diseases, no babies being diagnosed with cancer. From personal experience, I can say that’s wrong. I think if we can figure out cancer, watching babies have leukemia and kids die from cancer is awful.

WHAT ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE YOUR YOUNGER SELF?
Don’t overthink; focus on yourself more and keep your faith.

DO YOU HAVE ANY WORDS OF WISDOM FOR YOUNGER WOMEN?
Take care of yourselves, drink lots of water, use sunscreen, exercise, and focus more on yourself. Eat the cake, buy the shoes, take the trip, and do it before you get married because you probably aren’t going to be able to do it when you get married.

WHAT IS A TRAIT YOU ARE MOST PROUD OF?
I can get along with everyone. I love helping people and making somebody’s life a little less hectic. I have my masters in social work, and I love talking to people and listening to them. I love helping others; you don’t have to go to school for it; it’s just natural to help.

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO OR FAVORITE QUOTE?
Carpe diem: seize the day. You have to take care of today. I know there is a tomorrow, but don’t worry about tomorrow; worry about today and what you are doing now because you may not have tomorrow.

WHAT DO YOU MOST VALUE IN YOUR FRIENDS?
I value empathy, humility, and flexibility in my friends. With Isabella and her special needs, my circle got smaller. But I also have friendships where we’ve been friends for 30-plus years, and we may not talk for six months or see each other for a year, but we can always pick up right where we left off. They’re loving, caring, and supportive. I can’t fault them for not being able to understand fully what I’m going through with her, but the fact that they’re willing to understand. I’ve gotten on to them about not sharing things with me, like if one is sick, because I don’t want them to treat me differently because I have Isabella. My friends who have stayed close to me still treat me like normal; they don’t feel sorry for me and will tell it like it is.

HOW DID YOU CHANGE OVER THE YEARS?
I’m still evolving; I’m a hot mess, a work in progress. You evolve; you change the things that don’t work. You’re not your past; don’t be a prisoner of your past. You must learn, be aware, and acknowledge that there will always be triggers, but it’s how you deal with them, how you react or don’t react to them, that matters.

IF YOU COULD CHANGE ONE THING ABOUT YOURSELF, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
I wish I were more patient, as I overthink things and feel like I need to have it right there and then.

WHAT DO YOU HOPE FOR THE FUTURE GENERATIONS?
I hope they can still grow up with morals, values, and beliefs. I hope they stand up for what they believe in, not because of what they see and read on social media or whatever the trends are, but what they believe in. I hope they keep fighting and standing up for what’s right. Continue what some of our past leaders have done, and hopefully, history won’t repeat itself.

WHAT BRINGS YOU THE MOST JOY AT THIS AGE?
I no longer care what other people think; I’ve been there and done that. I feel good; if I want to wear something, I’ll wear it; I dress however I want. And if I want to go out and do something, I’ll do it.

WHAT IS YOUR SUPERPOWER?
I love helping people. Because of my daughter, I’ve had many different jobs and experiences. I got a speeding ticket when we lived in Washington state, and it was about $500 because I exceeded the speed limit by 25 miles an hour. Instead of paying the $500 ticket, I did community service at a Union Rescue Mission.
Before we moved to Washington, I had worked for a disability attorney. At the Union Rescue Mission, there were a lot of homeless people who had disabilities, veterans who had a mental illness, or just people who didn’t know how to obtain services. I was serving food, and if I overheard a conversation and somebody needed help with applying for Social Security, I happened to know it, and I’m not afraid to get my hands dirty, I’ll help. If I feel comfortable in the situation, I’ll help somebody if the opportunity is there. I’m confident in offering my help to anyone who needs it and is willing to take it.

DO YOU LIKE BEING 40+?
Yes, it was so much simpler for us to be kids and teenagers and grow up without all the technology.

WHEN IN YOUR LIFE, SO FAR, HAVE YOU FELT MOST CONFIDENT, AND WHY?
It was probably after COVID because I had to stay home with my daughter Isabella because she got sick easily. We were already living a quarantined life; I just didn’t know it. We were always the first appointment at the doctor’s office when we came in. When I stayed home, my son and my husband at the time would have to take their shoes off, wash their hands, and then put on a different change of clothes because of the germs. Seeing that the world was no longer taking things for granted was amazing. I had to live with that when she had cancer and was getting chemo treatment. I knew that I had a 7-to-10-day window if she was going to get sick or not because of her white blood cells. I also had to be careful about who was around her. When the world realized what a freedom it is to walk out the door and drive, shop, or stop and eat wherever you want, not to worry about germs, getting sick, contagious, or just the government telling you you can’t get out. I don’t know if that was big for me because it wasn’t new; I’d already lived it.

IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE YOU WOULD LIKE TO ADD?
I know it’s hard to love yourself; we women are so hard on ourselves; we’re our worst critics. We need to give ourselves a lot more grace, and whether you’re spiritual, religious, believe in a higher power, or meditate, you need to be kind to yourself.