Tiffany McLaughlin

WHAT DO YOU LOVE MOST ABOUT BEING YOUR AGE?
There are a lot of societal pressures about looking perfect and saying and doing the right thing, and I’m grateful at this age to discover who I am. I no longer feel that peer pressure, I know who I am, I am unique and that’s ok, I love that part. And to no longer be responsible for my children, my daughters are 30 and 36 now. I can take dance classes and do the things I dreamt of when I was a young mom and didn’t have time for dance classes.

WHAT HARDSHIPS HAVE YOU ENDURED THAT YOU FEEL HAVE MADE YOU STRONGER?
When I was 40, I was diagnosed with colon cancer, it was still early but I still needed to go through chemotherapy. Having gone through that it changed my perspective on life. And unfortunately, I thought I was going to be married forever, that’s what I believe it should be. But my husband came home one night and said he didn’t want to be married anymore. That was very difficult to face. It’s not the big things that you miss, it’s the little things you often don’t even think about until they are gone. He knew me, he knew my family, there are things that you know when you’ve been together so long that you take for granted. Having gone through cancer and then divorce, I feel like both those things have made me much stronger and more determined. Realizing I was going to be alone makes you stronger.

WHAT DO YOU CONSIDER YOUR GREATEST ACHIEVEMENT?
On a personal level, seeing my daughters be great citizens and watching them blossom as young women, have families and friends. See them contribute, have conversations about politics and seeing them blossom, my heart just fills with joy.

On a professional level, I live in a man’s world and breaking that glass ceiling as a female in my industry is an accomplishment. I’m so grateful for the role I play on behalf of my company. It’s very gratifying for me going from the bottom ring as a female, to growing through the business and 30 years later being a general manager.

WHAT IS YOUR GREATEST EXTRAVAGANCE?
I just bought a new car, I’ve always wanted a race car, my father was a race car and motorcycle enthusiast, and as a kid, I grew up in that world. When a motorcycle drives by, that loud rumble makes my heart pound. I dreamed of owning a race car all my life, so when my conventional had an electrical problem, it was time for a new car. I always dreamed of a Corvette, and that’s what I intended to buy. After a test drive, I saw my hot little number that I bought. And that’s what I bought, a Toyota Supra GTR, it’s my extravagance. You know women buy different things for different reasons; I wanted a fast car so I bought it. Having the freedom to be able to make that decision and purchase it was very powerful. But I have other extravagances, I love to travel. Every year I plan an international trip and travel with a couple great girlfriends. I love that it broadens your horizons, we have big trips planned.

WHAT IS YOUR MOST TREASURED POSSESSION?
My health because none of the other stuff works without it.

WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE THING YOU HAVE CHECKED OFF YOUR BUCKET LIST?
Buying my race car. You get to this point in your life where you can check things off your list and add to it again.

WHAT IS YOUR IDEA OF PERFECT HAPPINESS?
Perfect happiness, at this point in my life, is having the freedom to slow down, to go out and make time for friends. I feel like my life is so much more serene and peaceful because I have more time in it. I can choose the things that bring me happiness and really speak to my soul. I don’t feel the need to be so busy anymore because somebody says I should be or have do to something. Not every moment is spoken for now, that created happiness, being able to devise your life in such a way that you can meet those demands but still have time for yourself and to whatever that might mean for you. For me it means connecting with my friends and spending time with them.

WHAT ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE YOUR YOUNGER SELF?
Don’t take so much seriously, to let some of that stuff I dwelled on and spent so much time worrying about go. We have so much going on in our heads that we make into something and in five years it’s not going to matter at all. Let it go and give yourself the freedom of not worrying about it, move on to the next thing, think about the big stuff that is going to matter.

DO YOU HAVE ANY WORDS OF WISDOM FOR YOUNGER WOMEN?
I think the generation below us is stronger at this, but there are still a lot of women that are defined by a man. I think that causes a lot of bad behaviors, so letting women know that you can be a complete person without having to have a man by your side. A man should be an addition to yourself, not something to hold onto like an anchor.

I see young women who make poor choices about who they marry because they feel like they have to, or they need to, then that comes with a whole other set of situations. So many people still think if you’re not with a man you’re not complete. But you should find complete first and then be ready to offer yourself fully, mentally, spiritually, physically, the whole 9 yards. Discover who you are and don’t compromise to the point where you’re not who you think you are anymore. Be educated, be financially smart, all those pieces can give you a stronger position so that you’re prepared to be a good support, a good spouse, whatever you want to be in that relationship.

WHAT IS A TRAIT YOU ARE MOST PROUD OF?
This is going to sound silly, but I love my hair. Both my father and mother have very healthy thick hair and as the years go by, I am grateful for my hair, I cherish it.

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO OR FAVORITE QUOTE?
Rise up, kick ass, repeat.

WHAT DO YOU MOST VALUE IN YOUR FRIENDS?
Loyalty, I think that as women we share stories, we share confidentiality and when you’re with a woman who could be loyal you don’t have to worry about what you share. You can develop strong empathetic encouraging relationships that empower everyone in that relationship. When you have someone who can’t be loyal and can’t keep confidence it breaks it all down.

HOW DID YOU CHANGE OVER THE YEARS?
The reason I can speak so well to young women who are trying to find themselves or are insecure is because I was married to a very dominant strong personality. Over the years I became stronger, I had to learn through experience and through the relationship. I think if my ex-husband was here, he would say she was a gentle docile deer when I married her, and now she’s a strong independent woman. You are made from the fire you go through; I’ve had some choices in life that have been pressed upon me, that created a stronger more independent ambitious woman. I have a passion to share how to get there, not to exclude men, because I think there are wonderful things about having a man next to your side. I truly do believe when I find the right one, I’m going to be happy to engage in a new relationship. But I think as women we must encourage each other to make sure that those are the right relationships.

IF YOU COULD CHANGE ONE THING ABOUT YOURSELF, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
For years I have struggled with my body type, I tend to be heavier. That’s probably the only thing that I would if I had a like a genie and I could like you know rub a Lantern a little bit that would be the one thing I’d like to change, my body type. To be a little easier to maintain, but I’d also have to give up my dad’s heritage, so I’d like that but I don’t want to give up that heritage.

WHAT DO YOU HOPE FOR THE FUTURE GENERATIONS?
I really hope that people are brought together, and divisiveness can be overcome. It starts with the family unit, if you have a strong family who sits down for family dinners on Sunday, we are growing children with a good family life, who go out in the world and will be good citizens. We have kids who grow up going to school, coming home and there would be nobody there to give them encouragement and love, make sure they’re doing their homework. In my opinion you see a whole societal breakdown in the family. We meant for women to go out and work, and I’m one of them, but I think we pivoted so far that our children took the largest reaping, the ills of not having somebody there to care for them and feel that love.

I think the work from home gives a lot of women and or men the ability to support their family, give their kids somebody to come home to at the end of the day and it gives the family lifestyle some balance again. If we can turn that divisiveness around and get back to people together at the dinner table, without electronics, but engaging and asking about what they learned at school. I think we’ll do a great deal for our society. That’s what I would want future generations to realize, the impact we’re having on our kids raising the next generation and how we can do better. Too many parents want to be friends with their kids, but that’s not the job.

WHAT BRINGS YOU THE MOST JOY AT THIS AGE?
My friends and having a great network of people I can go out and explore life with. To get into networking, all those little connections lead to a fuller life. I think that’s what brings me the greatest joy now, meeting a greater network of people everywhere I go. And really focusing on that. Not letting really engaging with folks go by and finding out what makes them tick. Understanding the differences in cultures in Italy and Ireland was so fascinating because you’re in this little microcosm of your little world but then you get out there and the world is broad, there’s so much to explore.

WHAT IS YOUR SUPERPOWER?
My superpower is having a great instinct about people I meet, engage and connect with. I can be empathetic to wherever someone may be in their walk and bridge that gap and really connect with them.

DO YOU LIKE BEING 40+?
I do like it, I think you have to make peace with the fact you are going to get older and you’re going to age. I look at my daughters who are in their 30’s and their skin is flawless. When you make peace with that you can really enjoy this chapter of your life right and embrace the aging.

WHEN IN YOUR LIFE, SO FAR, HAVE YOU FELT MOST CONFIDENT, AND WHY?
I’ve felt most confident since I’d say 44-45, I’ve had enough life under my belt and felt I was achieving my dreams. That in turn gave me more confidence in who I was, all those skills and talents I had been cultivating had come to fruition.

IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE YOU WOULD LIKE TO ADD?
I am really looking forward to spending the first two years in Wichita really diving in and getting these businesses off the ground, and making the changes we need to make to make them profitable.

I’m looking forward to my next step, getting deeper into the Wichita community and being part of it, and really trying to find the fit in that where it works for me both with what I have to offer and volunteering.