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The 40 over 40 Project – Tara

Tara Hying

Age: 47

SAP Fico Business Analyst

“You can’t pick your family but we’re all in this together.”

WHAT DO YOU LOVE MOST ABOUT BEING YOUR AGE?
Starting a family young poses challenges, but I can tell you one of the best things about my age is to have adult kids. I absolutely love being able to have friendships with them and to spoil the heck out of my granddaughters and spend time with them.

WHAT HARDSHIPS HAVE YOU ENDURED THAT YOU FEEL HAVE MADE YOU STRONGER?
I grew up in a single-parent household, I’m the oldest of four. In a situation like that there are challenges, financial challenges, and other common challenges. We all had to do our part, I helped my mom out where I could, and we all did chores, it was a requirement.
It made me prepare for my own life, I knew what I had to do, I had to get things done and be responsible. My mom was a very strong person, hardworking and she always had time for us, we were the center of her world. Growing up like that, going through some of those struggles and challenges made me stronger. It also made me realize I needed to do things differently for myself and my family. I needed to have different opportunities, I’m not saying I’ve done a fantastic job, but I think I’ve moved it forward a little.

WHAT DO YOU CONSIDER YOUR GREATEST ACHIEVEMENT?
My college education was something I had to really work towards, and it put me on a path to be able to provide and manage my life and make a better life for my family.

WHAT IS YOUR GREATEST EXTRAVAGANCE?
My camper, I have a 2019 Rockwood.
About 5-6 years ago I wanted a camper, I didn’t know whether it was a phase, so we started with tent camping for about a year and a half. But I really wanted a camper, we tried a pop-up camper and took it on a trip to Yellowstone with friends. After the trip, we decided that if we were going to do this camping thing, we needed to get a hard side, and that ended up being this Taj Mahal outside. She is my biggest extravagance.

WHAT IS YOUR MOST TREASURED POSSESSION?
My home, for a couple of different reasons. My childhood was a little bit different, I moved around a lot. My husband and I picked out this forever home, we wanted to be here, and we love it here. This is also where we’ve raised our kids and our grandkids are here. It’s treasured in a different way, it’s a part of us. When I’m here I’m home. It’s a home base for so many of our family and friends and we have so many wonderful memories here.

WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE THING YOU HAVE CHECKED OFF YOUR BUCKET LIST?
Taking our family to Disney. I can’t remember ever wanting to go as a kid, but I had an opportunity to take our family to Disney and it was important to me to go as a family. We went in January, which was fantastic, the crowds were less, the Christmas decorations were there, and the temperature was perfect. We all loved it and had such a great time.

WHAT IS YOUR IDEA OF PERFECT HAPPINESS?
I think it’s perspective, valuing what you have, appreciating the relationships you have, and being thankful for the opportunities to make changes. It’s not like there won’t be any struggles. Put in perspective the value of what you have, and your relationships, and mend them where you need to. Be thankful.

WHAT ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE YOUR YOUNGER SELF?
Don’t waste energy on things you can’t control. You can’t control what other people say or do. I think when I was younger, I wasted energy on things I could not change. Put that energy and effort somewhere else, where it can make a difference. If I could have learned that when I was younger, I would probably have been better off.

DO YOU HAVE ANY WORDS OF WISDOM FOR YOUNGER WOMEN?
Be courageous. Try new things, don’t limit yourself, and take those opportunities that come along.

WHAT IS A TRAIT YOU ARE MOST PROUD OF?
Being family-oriented is something I value, and like about myself. It doesn’t necessarily mean you always agree with your family, or you won’t have challenges or different viewpoints.

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO OR FAVORITE QUOTE?
You can’t pick your family but we’re all in this together.

WHAT DO YOU MOST VALUE IN YOUR FRIENDS?
Connectedness, having shared experiences and challenges, laughing, and crying together.

HOW DID YOU CHANGE OVER THE YEARS?
I’ve gone from being timid or shy to being more assertive and confident. I gained my voice and stand up more for myself. I recognize that I’m louder now when I’m passionate about things I feel strongly about.

IF YOU COULD CHANGE ONE THING ABOUT YOURSELF, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
Just being able to follow any type of schedule at all. There’s no real schedule in our life, we meet obligations but that’s different.

WHAT DO YOU HOPE FOR THE FUTURE GENERATIONS?
That they find a way to disagree, come to a decision together, and once that decision is made work together at it. We’re in this together, we’re better together. It doesn’t mean you agree on everything or don’t have differences. We can do so much more together if we’re building each other up instead of tearing down. Nothing good comes from hate or fear. Find a way to do things respectfully collectively, and move forward together.

WHAT BRINGS YOU THE MOST JOY AT THIS AGE?
I’m in a unique situation right now, to be able to share in my close families’ lives. Sharing my home with my adult kids and grandkids, to get to see them not just on birthdays or holidays. Living life and being able to experience it together and help one another and support one another. We make it work and it’s very special. I feel myself smiling, I know how big it is for me to have them here, not everyone gets to have those opportunities.

I must remind myself that unfortunately, they won’t stay here forever, but having them all here, I’m just overwhelmed with joy.

WHAT IS YOUR SUPERPOWER?
Determination. If I decide something is important, it might be a challenge or struggle, I’m going to commit and do it.

DO YOU LIKE BEING 40+?
Yes, I am happy to be this age, I’m old enough to finally have some wisdom and not get so worked up about every little thing. I’m still young enough, I’ve still got a lot left to experience and learn.

WHEN IN YOUR LIFE, SO FAR, HAVE YOU FELT MOST CONFIDENT, AND WHY?
I’d say pulling the big camper and driving it by myself. It’s tall, so the wind can catch it, or a big truck goes by, and it sucks you in. Now, that doesn’t include a lot of backing. I did get stuck in a parking lot once at a gas station and a friend helped me navigate out of there because I didn’t want to hit a gas pump. But even in that situation, I was confident enough to say it’s going to be OK and we’re fine.

IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE YOU WOULD LIKE TO ADD?
My daughter Kayla graduated with her Marketing degree in December. They had a wonderful speaker and she mentioned something along the lines of don’t be afraid of the twists and turns that come your way. You might think you have a clear path, but maybe an opportunity comes, and for whatever reason you feel strongly drawn to this other path.
Sometimes we look at these deviations as something negative but try to embrace those side adventures, try to consider that maybe it’s an opportunity for growth. Be open to it. Life is a journey, it’s not a predestined path.

Wichita Photographer – 
Celebrating the beauty and wisdom of women over 40!

The 40 over 40 Project – Tara