Julie Simon Moore

WHAT DO YOU LOVE MOST ABOUT BEING YOUR AGE?
I found that when I turned 40, having lost my mom when she was only 52, it made me reevaluate my life. I only want to do the things that give me energy. And if I don’t want to do something, I stand up for myself. I’m still getting a little bit bolder. The kids are older, that’s fun, there’s a little more independence. And then, getting remarried at 46, we have a very mature and open relationship; we don’t have time to keep little secrets or weird things from one another.

WHAT HARDSHIPS HAVE YOU ENDURED THAT YOU FEEL HAVE MADE YOU STRONGER?
I went through a very rough first marriage. Living with an alcoholic, narcissistic person can be quite damaging to your self-esteem.
It was tough to get through, and in hindsight, that made me adaptable to every environment. I don’t know if that’s a good or bad thing, but it’s something that came out of it. Then finding my own voice and figuring out how to stand up for myself, not being afraid to stand up for myself. It was one of the scariest times of my life when I left him. I lost 20 pounds in 3 months, and I constantly looked over my shoulder.
When my kids and I came out of that and were finally away from him, we had to work hard to find a normal that worked for us. It made us truly “3 peas in a pod.” The relationships I built with them have made us a solid unit, and we have a lot of trust. I hope it made them as strong as it made me. I knew that if I could survive getting out of my marriage, my ex going to prison, and raising two kids on my own, I could probably handle just about anything.

WHAT DO YOU CONSIDER YOUR GREATEST ACHIEVEMENT?
I’ve been proud of myself for lots of different things. I have beautiful kids who I want to raise as independent adults; that’s a work in progress. I’m very happy in my relationship; I think that’s a strong achievement to get to a point where you find that magic. I busted all my goals at work last quarter and got a big bonus. I raised a lot of vegetables, which I’m always proud of. They are all little things I’m proud of. I hope that my proudest thing ever will be the kids one day; that’s the most important one we talk about: leaving a legacy behind.

WHAT IS YOUR GREATEST EXTRAVAGANCE?
I love to buy shoes. I wonder if that’s an extravagance or not. There’s not a lot I wouldn’t do for the kids. Giving them experiences is probably our biggest extravagance. We want them to have good memories of our family so they have a solid foundation of what family should look like.

WHAT IS YOUR MOST TREASURED POSSESSION?
My relationship with my husband and with my children.

WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE THING YOU HAVE CHECKED OFF YOUR BUCKET LIST?
My favorite thing so far was going to London and Scotland. It was so beautiful and fun to get out of this country at a young age.
I was 23, and my dad had the opportunity to give a talk about the Bank of Scotland because of the technology they were using for check imaging. My mom decided to make it a family trip and took my brother and me. It was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, and it was a wonderful trip.

WHAT IS YOUR IDEA OF PERFECT HAPPINESS?
My idea of perfect happiness would be for our little blended family to get along and for us to have our place out in the country, away from the city. I also want to continue my little micro-farm with the addition of probably a goat or a lamb, maybe a little cow, and having our gardens all setup.
Being able to do all that and not have to go to a job every day.

WHAT ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE YOUR YOUNGER SELF?
Never stop believing in yourself. Trust your gut 100% of the time. Your life is going to be beautiful; keep going.

DO YOU HAVE ANY WORDS OF WISDOM FOR YOUNGER WOMEN?
We must have our voice, and younger women must find the ability to help bring up one another rather than letting anybody pit us against each other. Also, we must not let decision-makers choose things for us. We must stand up for ourselves and say, ‘No, this is not a choice you can make for us.’ We can do this. This is our life; these are our bodies, and we get to make the choices.
In the workplace, when you get in a male-dominated environment, it’s like you must work twice as hard to be noticed. Find a person who will advocate for you and find your allies. It’s important to do that. Make sure you stick with women who want to help you, not work against you.

WHAT IS A TRAIT YOU ARE MOST PROUD OF?
I accept people without judgment; I always want to get to know people. I learned early on that you could never judge a book by its cover, so I always want to ensure I have no preconceived ideas.

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO OR FAVORITE QUOTE?
The most important thing to me is ‘do what you say you’re going to do.’ That just says so much about integrity and what kind of person you are. And: ‘Treat others how you want to be treated.’

WHAT DO YOU MOST VALUE IN YOUR FRIENDS?
Honesty and people who tell me like it is. If they can see that I’m going to make a wrong choice, they will not be afraid to check me on it rather than say that it’s good. But challenge me.

HOW DID YOU CHANGE OVER THE YEARS?
Over the years, I have changed through perspective. In every stage, you think you can see what’s going on with somebody else’s life, and you can relate to that until you’re in it, and it opens a whole other room.
Gaining from other people’s perspectives, hearing their stories and how that impacts you, I’ve taken in a lot of that, especially over the last 20 years of talking to people. It really opened my eyes when people talk about what privilege really means. Or when they talk about the different styles of life they are in, their values, religious thoughts, and all that stuff. I like to take it all in and am more open to it now than before. So many things are changing, so you must continue to adapt and look at the perspectives. And grow in that sense of understanding.

IF YOU COULD CHANGE ONE THING ABOUT YOURSELF, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
I went back to school a little over a year ago. I’m studying for my MBA and wish I had returned to school when I was younger rather than waiting this long. It’s tougher to learn the older you get. Also, technology has changed so much. Everything is online now; nothing is in person; it’s completely different from when I was in college. I’m giving myself two to three years to get it all done.

WHAT DO YOU HOPE FOR THE FUTURE GENERATIONS?
I hope that the planet survives. I feel like a lot of our decisions, at least in this country, are made from a profit standpoint. Hopefully, future generations will get past that, work towards the greater good of the people, and understand that people are the resources. It’s like asking for World Peace.
I hope that instead of being so divided, we can open a healthier dialogue and avoid continuing this split that we see right now.

WHAT BRINGS YOU THE MOST JOY AT THIS AGE?
I love working outside. I love doing things with the kids and seeing them be confident. It’s great, and I am proud of them. But the real joy is when we go out and do things just Jesse and I. It’s fun to have a life partner that I know, once the kids are gone, we will thrive when we have our “empty nest.” We do so many things together; it doesn’t matter if we’re kayaking or working in the garden; just doing things together gives me a lot of joy. Having that strong relationship is magic.

WHAT IS YOUR SUPERPOWER?
My superpower is being able to talk to just about anyone.

DO YOU LIKE BEING 40+?
Yes, it’s cool; in other ways, I miss my younger metabolism and ability to do things without it hurting so much. Other than that, I like how much perspective I have at this age. Also, it’s different, I don’t think about the age. It’s just a number and doesn’t define who I am. I don’t feel 47. The kids help keep us young and our goals for the future. I’m looking forward to the next chapter of my life. I’m excited for the next decade. When my mom turned 50, she told me it was her favorite birthday. I asked her why, and she said she was the most confident she had ever been. She was just happy to have the opportunity to turn 50. I always thought that was a beautiful thing.

WHEN IN YOUR LIFE, SO FAR, HAVE YOU FELT MOST CONFIDENT, AND WHY?
When I was 26, I had confidence, but it was misguided confidence in the sense that I thought I knew everything because I didn’t have the perspective. I lost some of that confidence because I was in a difficult relationship. But that confidence is coming back. It takes time to build that back up after you go through a tough relationship.