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The 40 over 40 Project – Gigi

Gigi Tsontos

Age: 51

Executive Director

“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”

WHAT DO YOU LOVE MOST ABOUT BEING YOUR AGE?
I never really worried about other people. I’m happy to be myself and do what I want to do. I’ve experienced many things and become more interesting and better. I didn’t have those feelings that people have of “Oh, I’m turning this age.” It seems cool, and it feels the same. I still feel young, and I can do everything.

WHAT HARDSHIPS HAVE YOU ENDURED THAT YOU FEEL HAVE MADE YOU STRONGER?
There were a lot of different losses; some were unexpected, and some were expected. Some made me think differently about the world and people; I’ve also learned a lot from those. It’s not like I’ve had an extremely hard life, but I’m different from most of my family members. Sometimes, that can be challenging.
I think about the world differently than most of my family and feel like the black sheep. It’s not that they don’t care; we’re different. I’ve always been independent. My brother is five years younger than me, which makes it different school age and time, and my sister is just a bit younger than him.
I was an independent little kid, and I think about things differently; I look at the world differently. I think about people in unique ways; I went against being in a faith that my family raised me in. I want to be open and accepting of all types of things. It may be because of travel, but the nature-nurture question comes up, and I think it’s both. I have this nature, and that’s this way. I was nurtured at a young age to be independent and around many different people.

WHAT DO YOU CONSIDER YOUR GREATEST ACHIEVEMENT?
I’m here; that’s a wonderful achievement. I’ve not had a life without challenges, but overcoming some of those has been great. I’ve kept lifelong friends who are important to me. I was born in Garden City, KS, and I still have friends from there. I have a huge family; my dad’s family is Catholic, my mom is one of five girls, and I have many cousins who are my friends.
I’ve probably had my closest friends for more than 30 years.

WHAT IS YOUR GREATEST EXTRAVAGANCE?
My tattoos, I think of them as jewelry. I haven’t been getting many lately, but this arm costs more than some people’s wedding rings. And my animals, we do everything for them.

I’m not very extravagant; I love to travel. A couple of friends and I went to Greece several years ago, and we decided to go on a cruise because it’s so expensive to go between all the islands. We wanted to see as much as possible together. We upgraded the cabin, and it was a fantastic trip.

WHAT IS YOUR MOST TREASURED POSSESSION?
My most treasured possessions are the people I know, my animals, and my memories.
My father-in-law died about two years ago, and my mother-in-law lives in Germany. I keep thinking about all the times that we had. I have these memories of fun times with them and sometimes with others who have passed. Unfortunately, a lot of people have passed this year in my world. The people and the memories that come with them are super important to me. My husband, family, animals, and friends, who I have had for so long, and all the memories that come with them, are important to me.

WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE THING YOU HAVE CHECKED OFF YOUR BUCKET LIST?
We went to Belize a couple of years ago, which I had always wanted to visit. We had the best time.
Prague is my favorite city I’ve visited. My dad’s family is Chech, so I feel like a kindred spirit there, and I’ve been a couple of times.

The Peace Corps was on my bucket list since I was 5, and then I did it after graduating college. My distant relative had gone to the Peace Corps when I was around five; I thought, that sounds cool; I think I will do that. Then, when I was graduating, I applied, and I didn’t say anything to anyone. I got accepted and left two weeks later. My parents were like, wait, what? They knew in the back of their head, but that must have been shocking.
I went to West Africa. My parents had never been outside the US, so their first trip overseas was to West Africa. It was a lot for them.

WHAT IS YOUR IDEA OF PERFECT HAPPINESS?
I don’t know that I ever think of the world that way. I enjoy simple things; I enjoy being around people that I care about, and I enjoy being home and doing nothing. Our home is set up for the dogs to do whatever they want. It’s all of that, nothing specific. Not having a lot of painful challenges would be good happiness.

WHAT ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE YOUR YOUNGER SELF?
Be patient. When I was younger, I felt that you had to be perfect or always know the answer. Patience is important, be open to new ideas and thoughts.

DO YOU HAVE ANY WORDS OF WISDOM FOR YOUNGER WOMEN?
Be true to yourself; be who you are. Women apologize a lot. I find myself doing it still and saying, “Oh, I’m sorry,” when I should say, “Oh, thanks for being patient.”
Be you and enjoy life. That’s super important. If you do that, then even with hardships, you get to real happiness.

WHAT IS A TRAIT YOU ARE MOST PROUD OF?
I just tried things out. I’m a good friend to people, which I’m proud of.
I recently started this new role, and someone mentioned they get nervous about trying new things, and I don’t feel that way.
I can easily switch between the big picture and the things that need to be accomplished, which helps in my job.

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO OR FAVORITE QUOTE?
I have a couple, but one that’s on my mind a lot right now, from an unknown person: ” If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”

That perspective: if you’re in this vantage point, take another vantage point. Don’t keep everything in a box; try new things and be open to new ideas. That makes a difference.

WHAT DO YOU MOST VALUE IN YOUR FRIENDS?
The people I have retained friendships with and am drawn to, you can miss a year and come back to, and it feels like home.

I value that they’re there whether things are good or bad. As I sit here, I think about the individuals and their value. I have a group of friends, and we meet up regularly. We’re all over the place and just fall into our world as soon as we’re together.

HOW DID YOU CHANGE OVER THE YEARS?
I’ve become more open as I’ve aged. I’m still stubborn but used to be a lot more stubborn. I learned how to listen better; that’s something that most humans need to do better. There have been so many different times that I’ve changed. I’m a social worker by profession, but that wasn’t what I thought I would do.

IF YOU COULD CHANGE ONE THING ABOUT YOURSELF, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
I’ve learned to be more patient, but I still feel I need more of it; I’d like to improve that. There are other things. I’d love to lose weight and live healthier, but I have to make those choices, and I’m not doing such a great job at it.

WHAT DO YOU HOPE FOR THE FUTURE GENERATIONS?
I hope they continue to engage. It would be nice if we cared for people better as a community. I’d like to see us not have to deal so much with all these conflicts. I want everybody to have a house to live in, food to eat, and medical care.
I’d like them to grow up and make it better than this.

When I think about it, we have evolved so much as people. Even in my 51 years, all of the things that have changed, I can’t imagine the changes in the next 51 years. I would like people to get back to spending less time on their social media. It’s fun, but I’m glad I didn’t grow up with that.

WHAT BRINGS YOU THE MOST JOY AT THIS AGE?
I know myself better. I don’t worry so much about everything or everybody else. I know how to set better boundaries. I love my animals, friends, family, and spouse. I love that I get to travel. It’s not different from any other age. You know, I’m just good.

WHAT IS YOUR SUPERPOWER?
My husband says I’m super oral; I can hear very well. For example, I can hear a conversation three tables over in restaurants. Sometimes, I can’t hear low things, so I wonder if it’s a superpower.
I’m also good at keeping words short; I can get to the point quickly, and I appreciate that about myself because I hate long meetings.

DO YOU LIKE BEING 40+?
Yes, there’s nothing wrong with it. You can’t have regrets; it just gets better as you age. You learn when to say no and when to say yes.

WHEN IN YOUR LIFE, SO FAR, HAVE YOU FELT MOST CONFIDENT, AND WHY?
I feel confident about my work right now. I love my job. There have been many times that I’ve felt confident about my life. I have a good partner, enjoy my life, and have what I need, and I feel good about that.

IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE YOU WOULD LIKE TO ADD?
It’s been interesting; it’s fun to think about what you think about yourself.

Gigi is the Executive Director of the non-profit ‘Not One More Vet

Wichita Photographer – 
Celebrating the beauty and wisdom of women over 40!

The 40 over 40 Project – Gigi