Tabitha Van Hazel

WHAT DO YOU LOVE MOST ABOUT BEING YOUR AGE?
I’ve lived through trauma, including rape and domestic violence. I’ve served my country, raised four children, and buried my oldest just over a year ago, something no mother should ever have to do. I’ve watched my youngest fight cancer and survive. I’ve fought my own health battles, too, and I’m still here. At this point in my life, I no longer seek validation; I walk in truth, even when it’s heavy. I’ve learned to honor my scars, both seen and unseen. There’s peace in knowing I’ve been through hell and didn’t stay there. What I love most is that I’ve grown into a woman who is unbreakable, unapologetic, and still capable of love, purpose, and joy, even after everything. That kind of strength only comes with time. And I carry it with pride.

DO YOU LIKE BEING 40+?
Yeah, I actually like being 40+. At this point, I’m way more comfortable in my own skin and less worried about what other people think. I’ve been through a lot, so I don’t sweat the small stuff anymore. I know what I want, I set my boundaries, and I’m all about keeping my peace. Honestly, being 40+ feels like I finally get to be me, scars, stories, and all. It’s not perfect, but it’s real, and I’m here for it.

WHEN IN YOUR LIFE, SO FAR, HAVE YOU FELT MOST CONFIDENT, AND WHY?
I’ve felt most confident after surviving some of the darkest times in my life. I grew up as a victim of child abuse, and those early years left scars that stayed with me for a long time. But even through that pain, I found my strength. Joining the Air Force was a turning point, it gave me a sense of purpose and taught me to trust my abilities. But the true confidence came later, after surviving trauma, losing my child, and facing my own health battles. The love and support from incredible friends along the way helped me see that my worth wasn’t defined by my past. They held me up when I couldn’t stand on my own, and that gave me the courage to rebuild, piece by piece. Now, my confidence isn’t about being perfect. It’s about knowing I’ve fought for every part of myself, and I’ve earned it.

WHAT BRINGS YOU THE MOST JOY AT THIS AGE?
At this age, the thing that brings me the most joy is the peace I’ve finally found in myself. After years of surviving, healing, and growing, I’ve learned to appreciate the small moments, like laughing with my kids, catching up with close friends, and just being present. There’s joy in knowing I’m no longer defined by my past, but by who I choose to be now.

I find joy in the simple, quiet things: a good cup of coffee, time spent with people who truly see me, and the ability to take care of myself, mind and body. And, of course, seeing my children grow and thrive, especially after everything they’ve been through, that’s a joy I never take for granted.

WHAT IS YOUR SUPERPOWER?
My superpower is resilience. I’ve survived more than most people could ever imagine: childhood abuse, trauma, the loss of a child, a health battle, and more. But through it all, I’ve never given up. I keep getting back up, no matter how many times life knocks me down. It’s not about being invincible; it’s about always choosing to rise, even when the world feels heavy. I’ve learned to turn pain into purpose and let it fuel me instead of breaking me. That ability to keep going, to rebuild and find strength in the hardest moments, that’s my superpower.

WHAT DO YOU CONSIDER YOUR GREATEST ACHIEVEMENT?
My greatest achievement is simply surviving and thriving after everything life has thrown my way. From surviving childhood abuse to serving in the Air Force, to raising four children while navigating trauma, loss, and my own battles, I’ve faced challenges that many would consider insurmountable. But my true achievement lies in the way I’ve rebuilt myself every time I was knocked down, not just for survival, but for living with purpose. I’ve learned to love myself, to stand tall, and to keep pushing forward, no matter how hard it gets. Raising my kids with love, teaching them strength, and showing them what it means never to give up, that’s my real legacy. That, to me, is my greatest achievement.

WHAT IS YOUR GREATEST EXTRAVAGANCE?
My greatest extravagance is time, time spent on things that bring me joy and help me unwind. I love savoring a good cup of chai tea, not rushing through it, but really enjoying the moment. Crafting is another indulgence for me; whether it’s DIY projects or just playing with Legos, it’s my way of getting lost in something creative and fun. And, of course, spending time with friends is a huge luxury. The laughter, the connection, the shared moments, it’s priceless. Taking time to nurture these things is my little rebellion against the chaos of life. It’s my way of finding peace and joy in the present.

WHAT IS YOUR MOST TREASURED POSSESSION?
My most treasured possession is the memories I’ve created with my children and the people I love. The photographs, the keepsakes, the little notes and mementos, they all hold pieces of my story. But beyond the physical items, it’s the love and bonds that I treasure most. There’s something powerful about knowing that the moments we’ve shared can never be taken away. These are the things that make me feel grounded, reminding me of the strength and connection I’ve built with those who truly matter.

WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE THING YOU HAVE CHECKED OFF YOUR BUCKET LIST?
One of the things I’m most proud of checking off my bucket list is earning my college degree. Graduating with a Bachelor’s in Criminal Justice Administration was a huge accomplishment, something I worked hard for and did for myself. I’m also incredibly proud of my children; seeing them grow and thrive is the greatest joy of my life. And now, I’m proud to make a difference in the lives of veterans through my current job, where I make decisions on disability claims. It’s rewarding to serve those who have sacrificed so much, helping ensure they get the support they deserve.

Each of these milestones (my degree, my children, and my work) is a reflection of my commitment to making a positive impact.

WHAT IS YOUR IDEA OF PERFECT HAPPINESS?
My idea of perfect happiness is simple, really. It’s quiet mornings with a hot cup of chai tea, crafting something creative, or just enjoying time with my kids, laughing and being in the moment. It’s the small things, the peace that comes from sitting down with a good book, catching up with friends, or watching my kids grow into their own strength. It’s knowing I’m in a place where I can help others, especially veterans, and feel like I’m making a difference. Perfect happiness for me is feeling grounded, surrounded by love, and having the space to be myself, no matter what life throws my way.

WHAT IS A TRAIT YOU ARE MOST PROUD OF?
The trait I’m most proud of is my resilience. I’ve faced a lot, from childhood abuse to burying my oldest child, to surviving cancer, and everything in between. But each time life knocked me down, I found the strength to rise again. I think about the day I was told I had melanoma and had to face that reality, yet I still kept going. It’s not just about surviving, but about choosing to keep moving forward, even when it feels impossible. My resilience is something I’m proud of because it’s not just about endurance; it’s about how I’ve rebuilt and redefined myself, and continue to live with purpose, no matter the obstacles.

WHAT HARDSHIPS HAVE YOU ENDURED THAT YOU FEEL HAVE MADE YOU STRONGER?
I’ve faced more than my fair share of hardships, but each one has shaped me into the person I am today. Growing up as a victim of child abuse was my first lesson in survival, and it taught me to rely on my inner strength from an early age. Serving in the Air Force was challenging in its own way, pushing me to my limits and showing me that I was capable of more than I thought. But nothing has tested me more than losing my oldest child, battling my own health issues, and helping my youngest through cancer. Those are wounds I will carry forever, but they’ve made me stronger, more compassionate, and more resilient.

I’ve learned that it’s not the hardships themselves that define you, but how you rise after them. Through every challenge, I’ve come to understand that I have a well of strength inside me that I didn’t know existed, and I carry that with me every day.

WHAT ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE YOUR YOUNGER SELF?
I’d tell my younger self to stop doubting her worth and stop trying to prove herself to others. I would remind her that she’s strong enough to face whatever comes her way, even when it feels impossible I’d tell her not to be afraid to ask for help, to lean on the friends who love her, and to embrace her scars because they tell a story of survival, not weakness I’d also tell her that it’s okay to put herself first, to take time for self-care, and to trust that the tough moments won’t last forever Most importantly, I’d remind her that she’s enough, exactly as she is, and never to let anyone or anything dim her light.

DO YOU HAVE ANY WORDS OF WISDOM FOR YOUNGER WOMEN?
To younger women, I’d say: Trust yourself more than you trust anyone else’s opinion of you You are stronger than you realize Life will challenge you, but each challenge is an opportunity to grow Don’t be afraid of your scars, physical or emotional They’re proof of your strength, not your weakness Know that you don’t have to do it all; it’s okay to ask for help, lean on your friends, and take time for yourself Never settle for less than you deserve, and remember that your worth is not tied to anyone’s approval Be kind to yourself through the hard days Healing takes time, and you’re allowed to take that time Finally, never forget that you’re not alone, we’re all in this together, and there’s more power in sisterhood than you can imagine.

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO OR FAVORITE QUOTE?
My motto is “Let them.” Let them think what they want, say what they will, and judge as they please It took me a long time to realize that not everyone’s opinion is my burden to carry At the end of the day, I’m living for me, not for others It’s a reminder to free myself from judgment and to focus on what truly matters: my peace, my truth, and my growth Let them, and I’ll keep walking my path with confidence.

WHAT DO YOU MOST VALUE IN YOUR FRIENDS?
What I value most in my friends is their authenticity and loyalty I need people who show up for me as I am, no pretenses, just real, raw, and honest My closest friends have been through the highs and lows with me, and I can always count on them to stand by my side, no matter what They’re the ones who’ve held me up when I couldn’t stand on my own and have celebrated every little victory along the way I also value the way they remind me of my worth, especially on days when I forget The ability to laugh, share vulnerabilities, and just be with each other is priceless.

HOW DID YOU CHANGE OVER THE YEARS?
I’ve changed in so many ways over the years, but the most profound shift has been in how I view myself and the world around me When I was younger, I constantly sought validation from others, worried about their opinions, and tried to fit into their expectations But as I faced loss, trauma, and personal battles, I learned to let go of that need I started trusting myself more, my instincts, my worth, and my strength I became less afraid of my scars, both seen and unseen, and more proud of them because they tell the story of my survival I’ve learned to prioritize my peace and my happiness, no longer letting the weight of others’ judgments define me The biggest change, though, is that I’ve learned to embrace the woman I am today, resilient, unapologetic, and focused on living a life true to myself.

IF YOU COULD CHANGE ONE THING ABOUT YOURSELF, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
If I could change one thing about myself, it would be to have learned earlier how to let go of guilt For much of my life, I carried the weight of guilt for things I couldn’t control, for decisions I thought I should’ve made differently But I’ve realized that guilt doesn’t serve me; it only holds me back I wish I had understood sooner that I am not defined by my past or by things outside my control Letting go of guilt has been one of the hardest, yet most freeing things I’ve done, and if I could go back, I’d tell my younger self to release it sooner and embrace peace.

WHAT DO YOU HOPE FOR THE FUTURE GENERATIONS?
For future generations, I hope they learn to value themselves more than the world tells them to I hope they grow up knowing their worth isn’t tied to their appearance, their achievements, or the approval of others I want them to be resilient, not because they have to be, but because they understand their strength and the power of persistence I hope they learn the importance of kindness, not just to others, but to themselves I hope they embrace their scars and understand that healing doesn’t mean perfection, it means progress And, above all, I hope they never let fear or judgment hold them back from living authentically, chasing their dreams, and loving fiercely.

IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE YOU WOULD LIKE TO ADD?
No, I think I have probably shared way too much.