Ryann Baker

WHAT DO YOU LOVE MOST ABOUT BEING YOUR AGE?
Having the life experience(s) and the knowledge that comes with age.

DO YOU LIKE BEING 40+?
I embrace it.

WHEN IN YOUR LIFE, SO FAR, HAVE YOU FELT MOST CONFIDENT, AND WHY?
I felt the most confident when I graduated college, when I got married, and when I purchased my own home. I never believed I could achieve something so significant on my own.

Also, submitting my life story to a hybrid publisher is something I never believed I would accomplish.

I feel confident when I see my son’s smile. Knowing he is happy, creative, and kind is a wonderful feeling.

WHAT BRINGS YOU THE MOST JOY AT THIS AGE?
Spending time with Logan. I make a point to do what he wants with the little free time I have. If he wants to build Legos, we build Legos. If he wants to go fishing, that is what we do. I know it will not be long before I am not who he wants to hang out with, so I make every minute count right now. 

WHAT IS YOUR SUPERPOWER?
I would say that my superpower is my compassion to help other people. Working in the field of Mental Health and Addictions, we see so many people who are in the darkest moments of their lives, and unfortunately, some of them lose their lives amid their darkness.

I commit every single day to the State of Kansas as a licensed professional, to Sedgwick County and the City of Wichita, to the company that employs me, to my co-workers, and to every person out there battling addiction, to be there. To show up, to be present, and to provide comfort and support when they are ready for positive life changes. My true passion is to inspire others to become the greatest versions of themselves.  

WHAT DO YOU CONSIDER YOUR GREATEST ACHIEVEMENT?
When I started in my career field, I was 23. I grew up in rural Butler County, so I knew nothing about drugs, poverty, homelessness, or street life.  Many of the seasoned counselors made fun of me, and some attempted to run me out of the line of work.

Today, I have 22 years of experience in my profession, and I am highly respected by the community and the people who come to me for help. 

WHAT IS YOUR GREATEST EXTRAVAGANCE?
I am extreme when it comes to food. I like eating well; by that, I mean sushi, lobster, crab, calamari, and filet mignon. I spend a lot of money making fancy meals that I eat by myself.

I also spend a lot of time and money on landscaping, flowers, and growing things out of the ground. In the future, I want to grow all of my vegetables and be surrounded by beautiful blooming flowers.

WHAT IS YOUR MOST TREASURED POSSESSION?
My education and professional licenses/certifications because no matter what happens in life, I have those things. As long as I have those things, I can make money, regardless of where I am or go.

WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE THING YOU HAVE CHECKED OFF YOUR BUCKET LIST?
The Coastal Cruise of the Pacific Northwest, with my two lifelong best friends, was top-tier. I am excited for the next adventure.

Writing a book.

WHAT IS YOUR IDEA OF PERFECT HAPPINESS?
Getting to experience life with my son. Watching his personality blossom and encouraging him to be whoever and whatever he wants to be.

Being healthy: physically, mentally, and spiritually.

Creating a life for myself where my insane hustle will buy me freedom in the future when I am not tied to any particular place, and I can experience more life adventures with people who are important to me.

Falling in love with the most unexpected person at an unexpected time and just going with it. We never know when our time is up; living and loving in the present moment is important. It doesn’t have to all be figured out right now, and that is part of what makes life beautiful. 

WHAT IS A TRAIT YOU ARE MOST PROUD OF?
My sense of humor, and my ability to write. I could easily do stand-up comedy, but I am afraid of the stage.

WHAT HARDSHIPS HAVE YOU ENDURED THAT YOU FEEL HAVE MADE YOU STRONGER? 
The loss of my husband to cancer forced me to experience a lot of painful events and emotions at a young age. It put me out here in this extremely cruel world alone, and I had two choices: to make it or not. Fighting through the darkness, I told myself each day, “There is a little boy in the other room, who needs you to do better.” One day at a time, and many wrong decisions later, I started to do better. It’s been a long, messy ride, and I have lost people I loved along the way, but I made it.

My greatest wish is that my baby boy does not remember that sad/depressed version of me and that his greatest memories of me are, of the present time.

WHAT ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE YOUR YOUNGER SELF?
There is so much. First, I would tell her, “All that bullying and body shaming is going to negatively impact you in the future. Seek therapy now.”

Second, I would tell her, “Your family life is going to negatively impact how you behave in life and the men you choose to entertain.” The mental and emotional neglect/abuse is going to push you into being a people pleaser. Do not do that. Seek therapy now.” 

Third, I would tell her, “Live your life the way you want to live it. Follow your dreams and become who you want to be. Do not live your life as your parents or anyone else believes you should. You will develop resentments, which will impact you for a long time. Be you.”

DO YOU HAVE ANY WORDS OF WISDOM FOR YOUNGER WOMEN? 
Follow your dreams and your passions. Do not live life through the visions of anyone but your own. No matter what, take care of yourself. Take care of your body, your mind, and your spirit. Take care of your career and your money, and invest in yourself. By no means, ever put yourself in a position where you depend on anyone other than yourself. Doing so will save you a great deal of time, disappointment, and heartache.

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO OR FAVORITE QUOTE?
“How someone makes me feel mentally and emotionally is far more important than what they can do for me materialistically. I will always choose love, affection, and emotional support over money or extravagant things. All I want is my energy matched, and I do not think that is asking for too much.”
~ Author is unknown.

WHAT DO YOU MOST VALUE IN YOUR FRIENDS? 
They laugh at me, make me laugh, and always show up without question or judgment.

HOW DID YOU CHANGE OVER THE YEARS? 
I never wanted children, even the slightest bit. I have no maternal instinct. I had never changed a diaper when my son came into my life, and I was 34. I am far from any type of fantastic mother yet watching him grow into himself is by far one of the most incredible experiences of my life.  I also used to obsess over my house, always being spotless. Now, my house resembles a college dorm room, and I do not care. 

IF YOU COULD CHANGE ONE THING ABOUT YOURSELF, WHAT WOULD IT BE? 
I would have gone to therapy and learned about attachment patterns earlier in life so I did not hurt people along the way simply because I was hurt and unhealed.

WHAT DO YOU HOPE FOR THE FUTURE GENERATIONS? 
In our journey of personal growth, it’s not uncommon to make significant strides forward only to find ourselves pulled back by unexpected triggers. Embracing the reality that this ebb and flow is part of the process is crucial. The essence of progress isn’t always about monumental achievements; sometimes, it’s simply about getting up and making lunch. On other days, it feels like we’ve conquered a mountain.

Reflecting on my life, especially the tumultuous experiences I faced in my 30s, I’ve learned profound lessons. The most important of these is how we treat one another. Our time here is finite, and the yearning for love is universal. Don’t squander moments with loved ones on trivial matters. When miscommunications or misunderstandings arise, address them. Accept it wholeheartedly if you’re blessed with someone’s love—even if you’re not quite ready. To love and be loved through the messiness of life is one of the most powerful and selfless gifts we can offer and receive.

Watch out for how you speak to others when angry or hurt! Your words, driven by fleeting emotions, can leave a lasting mark on those who hear them. Be mindful and choose your words with care—they carry weight.

And remember, no matter what, chase your dreams with relentless passion. Your journey is yours alone to shape, so fuel it with your determination and courage!