Tina Shanfelt

WHAT DO YOU LOVE MOST ABOUT BEING YOUR AGE?
I love that I’m a little wiser than I was in my younger years; I’m more confident in who I am and don’t take everything so seriously.

WHAT HARDSHIPS HAVE YOU ENDURED THAT YOU FEEL HAVE MADE YOU STRONGER?
Coming to America at age seven and getting used to a new school, family, and different culture was challenging. With my personality, I was OK with the change, as hard as it was. We went through some tough times; we endured some harsh prejudice. I am a better person because I can appreciate all types of people and different races. Life was hard financially growing up, but it’s made me a better person. I appreciate the finer things in life, and all the hard work we put in that takes care of our family. We have learned from that and taught our girls to be financially educated. I was able to teach my daughters a different way; I don’t want hardship for them. I went to 11 schools in 12 years, we moved house, and that made me change schools. We were a military family living in Germany for three years, and I attended school there. It has taught me to be adaptable.

WHAT DO YOU CONSIDER YOUR GREATEST ACHIEVEMENT?
My two daughters. As a parent, you’re always worried about them, but they have become amazing young women. If they weren’t my daughters, I still would love to hang out with them and be with them. I don’t want to sound too boastful, but they have represented Christ and our name well. Raising children is not easy, but when they grow up, and you see the fruits of your consistency in saying no or showing them the consequences of every action, and finally coming to the age where I’m like, they get it. Yes, that’s my biggest accomplishment, my daughters.

WHAT IS YOUR GREATEST EXTRAVAGANCE?
I love to travel. I would love to go somewhere every month if I could.
I love to travel and eat the different types of local food.
My favorite destination must be Korea because that’s where I’m from. Our Greece trip this past summer was amazing. In the United States, my favorite place that I visited was New York; that was fun. But I like the beach too.

WHAT IS YOUR MOST TREASURED POSSESSION?
My family, children, and husband are my most treasured possessions

WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE THING YOU HAVE CHECKED OFF YOUR BUCKET LIST?
Getting my oldest married, having the big wedding and seeing the joy of that day. My second bucket list would be the trip to Greece. It was the 5 of us and my son-in-law’s mom and dad. It was so special because you don’t do that very often, go on a vacation with your inlaws. But they have been friends of ours for a long time. Our girls and their boys have been in school since they were young and grew up together. That made the Greece trip memorable, and we got to experience it together with them.

WHAT IS YOUR IDEA OF PERFECT HAPPINESS?
Perfect happiness would be doing something with the family and experiencing traveling. Perfect happiness would be my grandchildren; I have to wait on that for a while. Being with my family, I missed my mom and dad when I was on Corfu Island. I could sit at the beach with this fantastic view, and it was so beautiful; it was like perfect happiness because it was like nothing I’d ever seen.

WHAT ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE YOUR YOUNGER SELF?
I would tell my younger self to be confident in who you are. Figure out your insecurities when you’re younger so they don’t follow you until you’re old. Those insecurities go to your children as well. Put others first and love deeply.

DO YOU HAVE ANY WORDS OF WISDOM FOR YOUNGER WOMEN?
I would tell younger women to have faith, dig deeper, and get closer to the Lord. I couldn’t have done all this without my faith. I attended church in middle school and found my self-worth in Christ instead of the world. I follow what the Lord has for me.
If you don’t have faith, be confident in who you are.
Don’t feel like you’ve figured out life because life constantly changes. Keep learning and try to better yourself to know who your identity is.

WHAT IS A TRAIT YOU ARE MOST PROUD OF?
I’m adaptable.

WHAT DO YOU MOST VALUE IN YOUR FRIENDS?
I value that my friends love me unconditionally. When I think of my immediate close friends, we laugh and enjoy each other’s company. We help each other when we’re down, encourage each other, and celebrate their achievements. They make me a better person.

HOW DID YOU CHANGE OVER THE YEARS?
I’m more intentional with the people in my life. I’m a people person who, when I was younger, would sacrifice my time with my family to do something with my friends. My priorities have not changed, but if you look at a pie graph, the percentage of all the important things has changed slightly. As I grow older, I appreciate my girls at home, hanging out with them, and spending time together.
I love my friends, and I’m so thankful for all the friends who have come into my life. If any of them would have called me right now and said hey, I need you, I’d be there for them.

IF YOU COULD CHANGE ONE THING ABOUT YOURSELF, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
If you had asked me years ago, I would have said I would like to change my self-image. The Korean culture is very big on looks, and when I was young, I was bullied because of my birthmark or weight. When I was younger, I played sports and was muscular, but I saw that as negative. Back then, I just wanted to be tiny, my mom is a tiny person, but I’ve never been tiny like her. I’ve grown and gotten more confident about myself.
Many women struggle with not having a good self-image; we’re our own worst enemies and critics.

WHAT DO YOU HOPE FOR THE FUTURE GENERATIONS?
That they are strong in their faith, no matter what. That they will be confident in who they are. and that they will love one another. There is so much hatred, selfishness, and instant gratification. Life isn’t always about you; put others first.

WHAT BRINGS YOU THE MOST JOY AT THIS AGE?
I enjoy spending time with my family, going on trips, and making memories. I love living closer to my parents now; I’ve never lived near them for 22 of the 26 years of my marriage. Living closer to my parents is great; they have been in Wichita for four years. Being with my family and friends brings me joy.

WHAT IS YOUR SUPERPOWER?
My superpower is my gift of hospitality. I love to serve others and to spend time with others. I love to use my gifts and share them with others; I love to cook and have people over. I’m optimistic, and a people person and I can adapt to any situation.

DO YOU LIKE BEING 40+?
I peaked in my early 40s because that was when I was running marathons. In the middle of my 40s, I just started getting busy with having older kids. They were going to college, going here and there for sports and all that. I’ve enjoyed it a lot; I love my girls at an older stage. I love them in all stages; I’m involved with them differently now. I have thoroughly enjoyed my 40s; I still feel young but accomplished and a bit wiser, and I know what is important and what is not.

WHEN IN YOUR LIFE, SO FAR, HAVE YOU FELT MOST CONFIDENT, AND WHY?
In my 40s, I never had an identity crisis or anything like that. I’m confident because life is generally good, not that we’ve arrived, but it’s comfortable now. And I am very confident now my children are older, and I know they’re doing well.