Julie Sanders

WHAT DO YOU LOVE MOST ABOUT BEING YOUR AGE?
The wisdom. When I was young nobody would take me seriously. When I say something it has weight and credibility, and I don’t have to explain myself as much anymore.
And I have finally reached that point where I don’t get bent out of shape if someone doesn’t like who I am, it’s fine, I don’t worry as much about that as I used to.

WHAT HARDSHIPS HAVE YOU ENDURED THAT YOU FEEL HAVE MADE YOU STRONGER?
Growing up I hated Catholic school, I just didn’t fit in well, and I was horribly bullied. At one point I was pushed to the ground and kicked and punched. It was horrible, and when I was 12, I was suicidal. I know now that would have killed my parents.

I still struggle with it sometimes, thinking maybe the world would be better off without me. I know it’s not and that when I get to that point when I’m in that dark place, I must look around me and see what’s going on. What’s making me feel less, not worthy, not deserving to be respected and loved as I am. It’s almost always related to work, somebody at work is downplaying what I do or disrespecting me.

I struggle with getting into a dark spot. I learned the end is never the answer. I’ve seen it around me and what it does to people, and I could never leave that wake of destruction behind me. But when you get to that point you have to get yourself out of that hole and that’s hard. Asking for help is a thing I struggle with. I’ve had to call the veterans crisis line before. Just taking the phone, dialing the numbers, listening for the ring, pressing 1, and waiting for someone to answer feels like 15 years. I’ve only called once and afterwards, I wondered why I ever denied myself the right to allow another human to help me.

Unfortunately, many people go through that and don’t talk about it. If I find out someone is struggling, I tell them I love them and how they are important to me. And if they did something like that it would destroy me, how I’d feel without them in the world, how much they matter, and I don’t want to think about life without them. I make sure to let them know to call me, I don’t want them feeling like nobody cares about them.

I think this is why I’m so loyal to people who are good to me.

WHAT DO YOU CONSIDER YOUR GREATEST ACHIEVEMENT?
My kids and my marriage. My kids are great kids, they are good people and have good hearts. My son is very polite and well-mannered, and my daughter has her head on straight and is very nice. My husband and I raised our kids together. The reason we lasted so long, and we’ve raised these great kids is we both have the tenacity to weather the storm, to stretch into the form we need to be in, we do that together.

WHAT IS YOUR GREATEST EXTRAVAGANCE?
My hair, I’m not really a redhead but I’ve been coloring my hair since I was 21. It made the outside match the inside. I think that’s my extravagance, I take care of myself, buy on-brand makeup, nice shampoo, and good skincare, and I do my nails.
I love my house but don’t need a bigger house, and I don’t have an expensive car.

WHAT IS YOUR MOST TREASURED POSSESSION?
My wedding ring is the bling I love the most. And this little box out of clay my daughter made and a little snail my son made for me.

WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE THING YOU HAVE CHECKED OFF YOUR BUCKET LIST?
I went to Scotland, Ireland, and London with a bunch of friends. And now we’re planning a trip to Greece in 2025. My husband refuses to leave American soil and that’s fine, as long as he doesn’t keep me here. Holland, Denmark, Sweden, Austria, and Germany are all on my list to visit.

WHAT IS YOUR IDEA OF PERFECT HAPPINESS?
It used to be having a job or a career where everyone respects me, but now it’s having a career where I can genuinely help the person, and make a difference in their lives. Being able to be of service to another person is how I feel happy. And being able to get some adrenaline every now and then. I’m an adrenaline junkie, I like to drive fast and have a ticket to prove that, and I wasn’t even going really fast. Being of service in a balanced way, and still having the time to relax, chill, and do things that involve speed and maybe one day jump out of an airplane.

WHAT ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE YOUR YOUNGER SELF?
Quit trying to please everyone, be you because that’s the only thing you’re ever going to be good at.

DO YOU HAVE ANY WORDS OF WISDOM FOR YOUNGER WOMEN?
Get yourself out of the box, and figure out who you are, without everybody else’s opinion of you. People around you expect you to be a certain way and if you’re growing up and changing, they kind of keep trying to shove you back into the box.
I love what my daughter is doing trying to join the army, and I told her she’s going to find out who she is. I’m not an overbearing person, I have opinions and ways of trying to guide her. But she’s going to find out who she is without me, getting to know her real self, that’s exactly what she should do.

WHAT IS A TRAIT YOU ARE MOST PROUD OF?
Loyalty. If I feel like somebody has betrayed me it’s very hard to forgive that person, I can but it might take years. I have found that if a person does not want your loyalty, you shouldn’t waste your time. A person who values my loyalty will never get rid of me. Which is probably why my marriage works.

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO OR FAVORITE QUOTE?
Today you are you, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is youer than you.
~ Dr. Seuss

WHAT DO YOU MOST VALUE IN YOUR FRIENDS?
Loyalty and honesty. A person who can be honest with you is an actual true friend instead of a person who’s telling you what you want to hear or lies to you to make themselves feel better.

HOW DID YOU CHANGE OVER THE YEARS?
I accepted who I am. I used to be creative and musical. When I went into the army, I learned Arabic, I became more technical and logical, and sort of lost that creativity. I missed that part of me but I’m accepting this is who I am. On occasion I can be creative, it’s still there but just doesn’t come out very often. I used to be more right-dominant and now I’m more left-dominant.

IF YOU COULD CHANGE ONE THING ABOUT YOURSELF, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
I wish I was skinny, have a perfect body, and be able to be flexible and bend like a contortionist.

WHAT DO YOU HOPE FOR THE FUTURE GENERATIONS?
I have a lot of hope for future generations. I don’t hear about a lot of kids getting bullied these days at my daughter’s high school. I hate that my generation is so tainted by racism. Kids now don’t care about race or if you’re gay, they just don’t want you to be mean. They are a little softer, not in a bad way.

I would tell them to not forget the value of a trade and not to underestimate the value of knowing how to be self-sufficient. We’re so used to having someone else change a tire for us, that nobody knows how to do it themselves anymore. Or how to wire electricity in the house or build shelves. This comes from my appreciation for what my husband does. What happens if nobody wants to do those trades anymore? Be self-sufficient!

WHAT BRINGS YOU THE MOST JOY AT THIS AGE?
Seeing other people succeed. My success is great, but I love it when my friends are doing something great, or somebody is getting honored. I think it’s awesome, especially if I know they came by it honestly and they put in the work to get there.

My daughter is hopefully going into the military. We’re at that stage now where we don’t know what’s going to happen, she must pass for the physical. I’m already thinking about the day she graduates basic training, and I get all emotional about it. I cannot believe she’s following in my footsteps. I know what she’s going to go through and how it will change her and instill pride in herself, her confidence, and her ability to do what she wants and go for it. I love that.

What also gives me joy is to watch something I created work, it’s like building the machine, oiling it up well, and then watching it take off. And I think yeah, I did that. I do get joy in my own success but it’s equal to watching others succeed.

WHAT IS YOUR SUPERPOWER?
My intuition is my superpower. Sometimes I just sense when I’m needed and instead of doubting it, I lean into it and trust myself. As women we tend to say no it’s fine, don’t be mean, don’t be that person that creates a ruffle, we’re taught not to do that. But we’re the ones who have the best sense for that stuff and it’s difficult not to trust your own instincts sometimes.

DO YOU LIKE BEING 40+?
Yes, I couldn’t wait for my 40th birthday, I was excited for it. I broke my arm right before my birthday so in all my birthday pictures I have a black cast on.

WHEN IN YOUR LIFE, SO FAR, HAVE YOU FELT MOST CONFIDENT, AND WHY?
When I’m acting, I do screen acting and stage acting. What I love about stage acting is that you must have it all perfect. When you’re giving the audience something, they’re giving it back and it’s a give and receive kind of thing. When they laugh, you receive it and give it back out to them again, it affects you and then it just magnifies right back out. I love that transfer of energy. On-screen, it’s a little different because you get to do it over and over. It’s more technical, where were my hands, how was I standing.

I’m in the show Wichita Mad House and watching that with people was scary but it was great hearing they love it.

I like stage acting more than television. On camera is easier, you can memorize on the fly and don’t have to spend days and days memorizing everything. For stage, you must know every single word in the exact order